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I have something to say. And when I’m inspired, I’ll write daring little excerpts on life & love & light.

Illusions of Me—Part 1

Breakthrough moment to share. Last week I freaked my whole self out. After one sleepless night (think October full moon), I woke up with some fairly surprising slash liberating clarity. I got out of bed and promptly quit school. Yep, just like that. After six years of relentlessly pursuing a degree in fine art through two pregnancies, childbirth , a separation, and three moves—I pulled the proverbial plug. The big reason? Wait for it… wait for it… Dragonfly Energy.

Clinically crazy? Yes. Certifiably FIERCE? Yes. I dabble in animal medicine (because I can) and without realizing it, I had been carrying around an illusion of myself that no longer served or even excited me. In a nutshell, dragonfly medicine teaches us that everything we believe about ourselves is in fact, an illusion. It is our job in this lifetime to sort through these many illusions of self in order to discover which ones remain effective and which ones are dragging us down in any given moment. Letting go of the dream I’ve carried in my back pocket since I was 15 wasn’t and isn’t easy, AND I’m so glad I did.

Processing the Shift—Recognizing Truth Change vs Quitting. The next day the inner war began. My inner downer voice screamed, “Quitter!” in the very same moment my inner JOY voice was whispering, “…way to go girl!”. Over the years I have learned that my truth is spoken in small, barely audible whispers while my inner critic shows up as a maniacal, depressing aggressor. Hence, this is why it is only in the quietest of moments that I can actually hear my truth—aka 3am-ish. In the aftermath of the war, I applied a Values-Based Experiment I use in coaching against this new truth, only to find consensus. What I felt instinctively and what ended up on the paper matched. Do a little dance, sing a little song…

In life, we can only connect the dots backwards. Time will tell why I needed to shift this energy into a different stream (Hitting the eject button on Need To Know Everything Now version of self). One thing for sure, I am slowly detaching myself from the idea that my creativity flows only in the realms of art. I am learning to love this new illusion that everything I do is creative, that in fact I AM the creative flow. This dragonfly welcomes her new colours.

 

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Top 10 in 2010

If you’re receiving this as an email, it means you are a significant part of my life or have touched my life in a special way in 2010. I am grateful.

In the last year, many of you have asked me one of two questions, ‘Where have you been?! …and ‘What are you up to in the world?’. Well, at age 36 I feel like I’m finally growing up. Bar none, this year has brought me the most joy – AND the most sorrowful moments of my life. What I am most grateful for is the newly birthed knowledge that multiples of emotion can truly co-exist within me in the same moment in time. And the freedom in letting those emotions flow through without judgment can be a catalyst for living life large! Deep breath, here goes:

  1. DREAM. A JOY Experiment! Launches. Realizing a two year dream to create a company I am truly passionate about. For me Better World Industries Inc. and A JOY Experiment! mean so much more than business. It’s about four main dreams:
    • creating a community of women who are hungry to live passionate, joyful, profound lives;
    • giving and receiving love on a world scale;
    • creating a huge resource for women moving toward living their own unique dreams and passions;
    • and providing a vehicle to allow me to the best mother and roll model I can possibly be for my babies. Pinch me!
  2. COURAGE to live my truth. A painful goodbye to a seemingly un-fixable, almost decade-long relationship. Then finding self-respect and authentic expression. Hmmm… sounds so much simpler than it felt.
  3. DANCE. Learning fancy Bollywood moves for my dear friend Sara’s wedding. (check out her awesome site Shanti Green Lifestyles! Now, I’ve known Sara since the first day of high school. And upon receiving her email requesting that 8 of her closest friends spend no less than 6 summer Saturdays getting together with an instructor to learn a 3 min dance… my brain said ‘WTF?!’ and my heart said ‘of course!’. …BUT — doesn’t she know I live in a different town, am currently flailing as a newly singled mother? Doesn’t she know I spend my precious northern summer weekends at my cabin? In the end I remained open and ended up with a summer filled with more laughter, joy and connection to the women in my life than EVER before… Thank you dahhhlink.
  4. LETTING GO in profound ways: of my story; of my expectations of myself and others; of associating ME with my 17 year career; of what a marriage should look like; of how a mother should be.
  5. RETREAT. My first Maui Passage with The Peaceful Woman retreat – what a soul-filling journey of juicy goodness! Warm sunshine, multicolored sand beaches, ancient wisdom and beautiful new friendships framed this deeply personal experience for me. The week was made complete by an unexpected, impromptu Ho’oponopono – a healing circle of profound measure to model for me what true respectful communication can look like. A powerful representation for seeing how emotion and consciousness can co-exist.
  6. PLAY. A PLAYful weekend of Ballroom dance, mask-making, Buffoonery and medieval garb at the premier Living Big Retreat! This intimate event in Vancouver, Canada was even more special as I got to witness a woman, who’s become a mentor and second mother to me, spread her wings and fly. Congratulations on rocking out your first Living Big Retreat Suzanne Kyra! (Spending the entire weekend with LuAn Mitchell also slightly rocked my world.)
  7. CEREMONY. Making room for Ceremony in my life. Whether it’s celebrating wins using sparkling apple juice with my 2 & 4 year old or creating a small space in my home to gather and honor various aspects of my mind/body/soul, I am finally connecting with how healing and JOYful ceremony can be. I look forward to deepening this practice with the guidance of great friends like Celebrant Michele Davidson!
  8. TRIBE. Setting the intention to meet great mentors and watching them show up in expected ways. A huge hurrah to Bill Walsh (Powerteam International), a business mentor extraordinaire for believing in me, and then being generous enough to provide a few TOP connections that started my ‘mentor snowball’ rolling. Now I’m swimming in support, creating a truly magnificent tribe.
  9. GRATEFUL. Discovering Grateful Journaling. Consciously creating my life and being grateful when incredible surprises show up. My grateful journal practice literally forces me to really see how amazing life is, even in those moments of self doubt, criticism, judgment, challenge and stuck-ness. Email me if you want to know more… (melanie@betterworldindustries.com)
  10. COURAGE TO REDISCOVER. Rediscovering my relationship as two wholly new people. The possibilities, challenges, excitement and passion this brings me… Wow, life never unfolds as expected does it?

Have you celebrated YOUR most thrilling moment of 2010 yet?

What’s in the works for 2011? Watch for the launch of the next project in The Experiments Series — A SOUL Experiment!

Bookmark www.betterworldindustries.com today and Stay posted.

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